I miss now that overwhelming passion
That sense that nothing was enough
Where no word could begin to sketch a fraction
Of the fractal composition that was us
Somewhere in my memory you sit in the living room
Make up in hand, sun kissing your freckles
A restrained smile so you don’t mess up the work
Somewhere I sit, too, admiring the gold in your hair
They were only a few mornings out of thousands
When I was allowed to begin to love you
A few bright stars in an endless night sky
When you shone and showed me the way
Now my face falls when I remember it
Every muscle too tired to even pretend
You still shine as bright as ever
Though no longer in my night sky
Breathe, breathe, I repeat the mantra
Sucking in the monoxide with glee
Praying, hoping, begging to the sky
Send me delirium, I demand it, relentlessly
I will not gift you my oblivion
It would be a poor sacrifice at your altar
An unjust repayment for those few
Bright rays of light you sent my way