Round and Round

Everything just seems to go round and round in circles 
no matter the choices I make. Because of the choices I make. 
The only thing that changes with every turning of the wheel 
is my growing awareness of how many mistakes repeat themselves 
and how much less in control I feel with every turn. 

Every time I see more of the careless destruction I have wrought 
more of the chaos and fire that burns my wake through another life 
I feel more and more the chafing of the chains in which I was caught 
the heavy bindings with their magic that makes me loop through strife after strife. 

Yet, the harder those bindings chafe, the more I am reminded 
that I forged that metal, and bound my hands all by myself.  
Sure, I had help along the way, unkind hands whose touch never mended 
but while they forged links in my chain, I kept myself bound in hell. 

Do I keep pretending I actually have the power of a different choice? 

Or do I face the seemingly inevitable lack of agency with dignified poise?